Why the Pope resigned.

Reports are circulating that everything was honkey dorey until last week when the Holy Father was shown the list of candidates for Derry.

 "Vat ist zist? Zis Donal Mc Keown keeps appearing on my list. No more, nein!"

 "But Holy Father, there's really no one else."

"But vat about zat fine young priest I saw vit Brady's baggage?"

"Well, Holy Father, you'll remember that problem with the bookie..."

"Ans ze singing priest?"

"Sony won't release him, Holy Father"

"Vat about ze man in charge?"

"Ian Elliot's a protestant, Holy Father"

"Zat is it. Find me somezer to live. I'm rezigning"

"I believe the "Wing" in St Malachy's College is available, Holy Father"

You know the way loyalists in Belfast sometimes erect Israeli flags

Did you know the Israeli Defence Forces sometimes use a thing called "the skunk" which sprays foul smelling liquid over rioters?  Irish Times report here.

We just have to get one for Belfast.